We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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