he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
