I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
