john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
