my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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