i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
