I think I am morally bankrupt
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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