what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
