It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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