youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she told me i tasted like america
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
