Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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