Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
