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• (804): View more from Virginia

  i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

  (786): View more from Florida

  that would mean it's on tape

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class

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• (661): View more from California

  i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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• (949): View more from California

  I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.

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• (916): View more from California

  We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn

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• (917): View more from New York City

  SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE

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