so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Of course I have a pirate flag
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil