I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.