Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I know, I was there.

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  (443): sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends (336): I know, I was there. http://tfl.nu/9p97
  Replies (1) Good night (1725) Bad night (664)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16

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  (281): I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16 http://tfl.nu/rugk
  Replies (17) Good night (1152) Bad night (3475)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

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  (703): there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40... http://tfl.nu/f1ts
  Replies (25) Good night (726) Bad night (5789)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (9105) Bad night (1085)
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  (707): View more from California

  He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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  (707): He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie. http://tfl.nu/yx94
  Replies (6) Good night (2912) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me

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  (559): His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me http://tfl.nu/qdk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1842) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

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  (301): my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook http://tfl.nu/xr9p
  Replies (15) Good night (3005) Bad night (1110)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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  (910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0
  Replies (6) Good night (1657) Bad night (532)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.

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  (516): I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents. http://tfl.nu/ifal
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (1642)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy

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  (515): i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy http://tfl.nu/58yw
  Replies (15) Good night (1375) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...

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  (218): I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin... http://tfl.nu/zsou
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (588)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

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  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.

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  (856): I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple. http://tfl.nu/po62
  Replies (9) Good night (1021) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign

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  (717): He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign http://tfl.nu/lo7q
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.

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  (734): I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland. http://tfl.nu/euk2
  Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (216)

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