how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.