So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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