we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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