we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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