What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize