I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
