Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
