I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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