hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize