; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We smell like vodka and hangover
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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