Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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