hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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