im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
