dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
