btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
