i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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