He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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