as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
