i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
