I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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