i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
