Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
