Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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