Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
