I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
