Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
