Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
