I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
