I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
