Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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