apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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