We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
