Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
