I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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