i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
