Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
