ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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