Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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