Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
