Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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