apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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