You're completely useless in the revolution.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
