i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
