Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
