Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
