So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
