i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
