I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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