doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
