what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize